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Thursday, 23 May 2013

The End


I had planned on asking for my wedding ring to be re-dipped and cleaned for Christmas. I don't like to admit that I'm superstitious but it was beginning to look a little dull and disheartened and my gut feeling was that it reflected how things were going. The last few years had been a hard slog to say the least. The recent move a set back instead of the step forward we had hoped. Life had been on hold for too long. We needed a fresh start. It was time to start moving again. 

I'm in the kitchen and the dreaded words are like a haze.

"I think we might need counselling."

I scoff " Counselling is a sign of last resort. Surely we should try first...Surely you think we can get past this." 

He sits on a nearby stool and stares at the floor.

My voice rises. Squeaks "Do you think we're at the last resort stage already? Do you think we need a...."

I stop myself.

He finishes.

"I don't love you anymore. I haven't for a long time."

It's over.


almost_bedtime said...

I read this and my heart broke for you. I'm so sorry. I don't even know you, but I've followed your blog and you sound like an incredible person to keep soldiering on when you are dealing with depression. And now this has happened, and I don't know what to say apart from sorry that this has happened to you, and you are not alone. Please take care.

Jenn@Fox in the City said...

Oh hun, I had hoped that the radio silence from you lately had meant that maybe, just maybe, things had turned around for you guys. I am so SO sorry that you are going through this. Big squishy virtual hugs.

Rach B. said...

I am so, so very sorry. I really hope there could be some way to salvage this. I'm sorry this is happening.

SandyS125 said...

I had hoped so too but no, it is done.
Thank you for your thoughts.

SandyS125 said...

I had pulled away as I feel as though I am unworthy to even post on the subject of survival when I clearly had it all wrong. I thank you for your thoughts. I have plenty of posts in my head. I am not sure if they will ever be written.

SandyS125 said...

My goodness, I am so sorry to even come close to causing you the pain I have felt. It may sound weird, but I look at the man I am married to and I hope he does not hurt as I do either. That his heart has not been shattered. And yet, I wonder how it hasn't been broken. How he continues to move. My depression resurfaced last fall. It will never be known whether it was a cause of or an effect from all this. It will alway always be intertwined. Depression doesn't happen in a bubble does it?

Susan said...

Sandy, I'm so sorry.